You Must be Busy

If my eight month old could talk, and people asked him my name I think he would reply, 'You must be busy' 

I don't know how many times a day people look at me walking with the four kids in tow and reply, 'you must be busy'

I answer with a polite smile, and internally I think, yes I am and I wouldn't have it any other way :-)

My last two beautiful munchkins are only 14 months apart and that definitely keeps me on my toes, combine that with 2 in school, and the last eight months have been a combination of sleep deprivation, school runs, 3 am feeds, and a never ending washing pile.

And because of how generous school children are with their coughs and colds our little two have it seems been sick every other week, and yes that will help with their immune system, but it doesn't help with the sleep deprivation and 2am ED visits.

But over the last eight months I have developed a few strategies to stay sane.  (Well I think it's working , some of my childless friends might disagree)

1. Have a Shower, - the world always feels brighter when you don't smell like yesterday's baby vomit.

I understand that is sometimes easier said than done. I get that... Sometimes the very thought of taking off your warm, baby smelling pjs is enough to send you back to the couch, but I put both the kids in high chairs and although sometimes the shower last 1 minute, It is always worth it. So what if while you are in there your 22 month old has found the chocolate. (Just makes it easier to justifying opening it at 9:30am anyway)

2. Buy some steam fresh microwave vegetables for your freezer.

Some nights are tricky, my beautiful youngest might decide to feed just as I am about to start cooking dinner and people may say pre-cook earlier in the day but sometimes that just isn't possible. 

But throw a couple of chicken and veggie pies in the oven, microwave some veggies and you have a nice tasting warm meal.  

Throw some rice in a slow cooker, add the veggies and some soya sauce you have a basic fried rice. 

O'k it will never win master chef but at least your family will be eating food with some nutritional content.

3- Get out of the house

I know everyone says it and sometimes it's hard to do, the dishes aren't done, the house is a mess, but sometimes you just need to throw the kids in the car and get out of the house. You don't even need to get out of the car. If my kids aren't wanting to sleep and are getting stir crazy I pop them in the car drive down to our local maccas and buy a $1 fries, I am sure the kid behind the counter thinks, really is that all. But it gets me out of the house without breaking the bank.

I then drive to our local lake, park the car and sit and check up on my email, facebook etc

4. Learn to embrace your new life.

Until you have a child you do not realise how much your life will change. People say it all the time, and you smile and then all of a sudden it happens, all of a sudden your life is different.

All of a sudden it takes you longer to get into the car, just to go to the shops. Your once clear lounge room has more jumpers, mats, rockers than available floor space .

All of a sudden a sleep in is 7am, a date night is hiring a movie at home, and your conversations revolves around random smells, noises and what developmental milestone your bub is up to.

Dinner gets earlier, your clothes get more practical, and your time (and body) is not your own.

Relax, embrace it. 

This new life will continue to change as your children and your family does.

5. Find out you are not alone.

One of the best things happened to me after I got pregnant with my third child. My oldest was at school and my second heading into 4 yr old kinder, we were living away from family and I had yet to make any real friends in a new town.

On one visit down to my sister (who was also pregnant) she told me about the support she had received from her online mums group and in a moment of weakness I thought why not I will join one.

I figured if I didn't like it, I could always just walk away, I figured that I was safe behind the anonymity of a computer screen, I figured I could post as little or as  much as I wanted. I set my privacy settings high and waded in slowly.

What I didn't figure on was the amazing group of ladies that I would meet online. Ladies that showed me that I was not alone, ladies that answered my questions no matter how silly and trivial they seemed. 

I have been very blessed with four beautiful healthy children however my pregnancies are never easy. I have been induced for all 4, and suffered with various things through the pregnancies with HG, (severe morning sickness) GD, (Gestational Diabetes) high Blood pressure, PE, (Pre eclampsia) burst blood vessels in my stomach and even Shingles. 

Sometimes it's hard when you are pregnant as you want to complain, you want to cry out that it's hard but you don't want to seem like you aren't grateful for this amazing baby growing inside. You understand there are people around you maybe even friends and family that would give everything to experience pregnancy, you understand that but it doesn't make a difficult pregnancy any easier, it doesn't make your fears any less real.  

The amazing thing with my online mums group is that they have helped me through the pregnancies with no judgement, no pity, just sympathy and care. 

If online is not for you, contact your MCHN and join a mums group, join MOPS, (mother of pre schoolers) join a mum and bubs swimming class, the library. Anywhere you can see you are not alone.

6. Embrace your identity.

From the minute your new bub is born, something changes. All of a sudden you become your little beans mum or dad. 

Nothing proves this as much as peppa pig. Does anyone know what Mummy Pig and Daddy's pig name is. 

Think back to your childhood how many of your friends parents names did you know, and how many do you still remember as Kelly's mum? 

This doesn't change who you are, it doesn't make you any less important. Instead you become the most important person to that child in your life.

This identity will live with you until if you are very lucky, your new one begins; Nana.