5 things I have learnt about my mum since having kids.

I am very lucky and have an amazing mum who is, and always has been there for me and my siblings.

But as I grow up and have my own children I am starting to learn things about her that I never realised.

1- she does not have OCD.

When I was growing up my mum used to vacuum our house 2-3 times a day and I used to always joke she had OCD about vacuaming. As I sit here tonight after vacuaming the house four times today. I realise that no she wasn't over the top, no she wasn't OCD, but unless you want your ten month old to fill up on a mix of cut paper, old food, dirt and whatever else your older kids have dropped, vacuuming becomes your best friend. 

2. She wasn't blonde, just sleep deprived. We used to joke that my mum was blonde, there were many stories that bought tears of laughter to our eyes, of wallets in fridges, orange juice on cereal,  to my favorite paying for drive thru food and driving off, but now I sit here with a growing list of my own embarrassing stories and I realise that sleep deprivation causes you to do crazy things.

3. Why she helped us clean our room.

Now growing up mum used to always ask us to clean our room, and often after us attempting to clean our room and ending up with it still messy a week later we would come home from school to a clean bedroom. As a child I used to think mum liked helping us, that she got pleasure from cleaning, and whilst there may be so people out their that do. I think there is a much simpler reason. Trying to clean with young kids is hard work, they don't want to throw anything out, all of a sudden they need to go to the toilet repetitively, not to mention there level of clean is not the same as yours. 

4. Washing. 

It's evil.

Enough said.

Seriously though your washing pile is never ending, and even if you do wash, dry and put your clothes away that moment of satisfaction will last 1-2 minutes max before your kids get changed, spill something and it starts all over again.

5. How much work went into our birthdays. 

I am one of 5, and whilst we didn't have parties each year, mum would always make us a cake - (gotta love the women's weekly birthday cake book)

My oldest sister would start the year with the first birthday mum would make her favorite meal there would be Presents, decorations. Then five days later she would do it all over again for my twin sister and I. This time there would 2 cakes and 2 favorite meals.

There was the year she let my brother invite all the boys in his class over for his birthday. I think 20 eight or nine year old boys. 

Now as our birthday season is upon us and I spend late nights continuing the tradition of homemade birthday cakes and favorite meals I really appreciate the time and effort she put in

Bbox essential nappy Wallet.

So over a month ago we were planning our trip overseas for my brothers wedding.

Now with four children, 2 under 2, you have a fair amount of organising. 

The 1 thing I decided I "needed" was an essential nappy wallet.

(This is how I sold it to my husband) just think about the plane trip over they would be the perfect, a great way to store nappies, wipes and plastic bags. It 

comes with a portable change mat, so really hygienic. 

I was excited I had my sale pitch on, he looked at me and then I realised as it was about nappies and nappy changes he wasn't as enthused as I was :-) he was more than happy for me to get it, just not as excited as I was.

I have to say I love it. It did all that I wanted it too. It fit 2 huggies toddlers nappies, heaps of wipes and they didn't dry out. As well as a couple of plastic nappy bags, the change mat was so practical in the plane. 

It was nice to just grab the wallet and head into the cramped toilet without having to squish the nappy bag too

http://www.bubsandbeans.com.au/products/482/Nappy-Change/Nappy-Change-Accessories

My thoughts on breastfeeding

Now I want to start this post saying I am not a medical expert I am just a mum that has been very lucky that I have been able to breastfeed all my four children. I am still feeding my fourth child :-)

There have been times when I have struggled through low supply there have been times when I have expressed, times when I have had to mix feed, and I have been lucky to have had support from my family to breastfeed.

I understand their are some people who medically can't breastfeed and I have family and friends in that boat, there is no shame, no condemnation. I understand their are people that do not want to breastfeed. Once again there is no shame, no condemnation from me. I am writing this purely for the mums that want to read about my experience breast feeding.

I was very lucky that before I had children myself I grew up with people around me that BF there children, they were not embarrassed to talk around me about any struggles they had, I remember seeing photos of my mum feeding, but also she wasn't embarrassed to talk about having to change my twin sister and I onto Goats milk at six months old.

I remember people telling me that whilst it's a natural thing it isn't always a natural thing. 

When my first was born (almost nine years ago) I never doubted that I wanted to BF. I went to all the classes and was extremely happy when my daughter fed straight after birth. What I didn't expect was the discomfort (pain) that you can experience in the first few days. People talk about a bad latch, engorgement and until it hits you, you really do have no idea. 

The day my world changed

Ok slightly dramatic I know, but did I get your attention.

This week my world changed, all of a sudden I realised something exciting but scary all at once, my little girl, is no longer little.

It happened suddenly without warning. The day had started like any other school day the mad rush trying to get my two big kids to school, when my oldest nervously came up to me.

Excuse me mum, she sheepishly looked at me. Can you please just cut my sandwiches normally, as I am getting to old for shapes.

With that my world was crushed. 

You see since my kids were in prep I have been cutting there sandwiches in different shapes, we have had butterfly's, mickeys, dinosaurs, letters, trains and my  favourite  elephants. 

I tried hearts but that didn't go well as my son was in prep and refused to eat his own heart. 

So all of a sudden a tradition started so innocently so many years ago now needs to be adapted, Letter Cookie anyone? 

Gestational Diabetes 9 months on.

I can still remember vividly the phone call that late July night.
My OB rang said Don't worry but your results have come back you have GD. Call this number in the morning to set up an appointment. 

As anyone who has had that diagnoses will tell you 'Don't worry' and 'GD' in pregnancy do not go hand in hand.

This was my fourth bub but my first with GD. For the first time in 4 challenging pregnancies I felt broken.

I had been induced for my previous 3 children and suffered with various things through the pregnancies with HG, (severe morning sickness), high Blood pressure, PE, (Pre-eclampsia) burst blood vessels in my stomach, heartburn and reflux, and a nasty case of shingles, but not until that moment did I fell broken.I wondered about my poor baby growing inside and how my bodies inability to function would effect it, would it need SCN, would it thrive, would I be forced to have a Caesar, how would I be able to regulate my sugars whilst still suffering severe morning sickness. 

The interesting thing is I already had a feeling something wasn't right, call it mums intuition, when I had the GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) I almost passed out I spent the 2 hrs laying down on the bed as every time I sat up, my world started spinning. Something I had never experienced in my previous 3 pregnancies. I had said to both my twin sister and my husband that I had a feeling I would 'fail the test'. 

I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep well that night, but then what pregnant person can :-) I jumped online and googled, I reached out to my DIG (Due in Group) online mums group and asked advice. I talked to my Dad (he has type 2 diabetes), I talked to my mum (a nurse) and I waited. In Hindsight I probably would have been better to wait til seeing the diabetes specialist but the reaching out made me feel better. Made me feel like I was not alone that I could survive this.

The next day came and I met my diabetes educator and we went through tips on what food to eat, exercises, how to test, when to test. We followed that up with an appointment with a midwife at our OBs office, and all of a sudden I knew I could survive this. I knew that it wasn't my fault, it was just something else's to get through.

There are plenty of blogs out there that give you recipe ideas, so I won't go into them to much but as a rough guide I ate a small serve of muesli with yoghurt for breakfast. I would test my levels 2 hrs later and have a small serve of tinned fruit (no juice) and yoghurt.
Lunch was normally grilled chicken and salad. Or I would have soup with 1 1/2 rolls. 1 my levels to low, 2 they would be to high. Afternoon tea would normally be fruit and yoghurt again. Dinner meat and veggies. Supper was normally a hot chocolate.
I found that if I didn't have supper I would wake up with extremely low blood sugar.

I was extremely lucky and was able to keep my blood sugar relatively stable with diet alone, I had a couple of high readings each week but everyone was happy, that's why I was surprised when my beautiful baby was born with a low blood sugar level (more about that later).

GD is interesting as what works for you, may not work for others.

Stay tuned for more posts about GD

What to expect after your baby is born, if you have GD

I will start this by saying ever OB and hospital is different, so you may have a slightly different experience to me, but this was my experience.

As I have previously said, I was diagnosed with GD in my fourth pregnancy, after the initial shock wore off, I composed myself and spent the next eight weeks, watching my levels very carefully. I managed to keep my sugars under control through diet, and was optimistic that my child would be born with normal sugar levels.

I was induced (High BP related) at 38.5 weeks pregnant and after a quick labour my beautiful boy was born, he was tested shortly after birth and his blood sugar were very low, they let me feed him and said if his second test 1 hr later was low then he would need top ups of my colostrum (I had bought in), and if I didn't have enough, formula.

I sat there cuddling my baby boy and waited to her the news, and much to my dismay it came back still very low.

When I was pregnant and starting to express my midwife told me that most people bring in 5-10 mls of colostrum in with them when they have there bub, so I went in extremely happy with my 15mls, imagine my surprise when my bub was prescribed 15ml of top ups ever 3 hrs for 24 hrs. I tried to express but could only get 2-3mls, so he had to go on formula top ups, combined with my measly 2-3 mls each time.

At the time I was heartbroken, I wish that someone had said to me, he may need more, that 15 mls is really the minimum he would need if his levels were low. As then I would have put more of an effort into expressing. I would of got up that little bit earlier each day. I would have gone to bed that little bit later.

I remember vividly, his first feed after the top ups, and the next and the next. Why because he refused to feed. He would not latch on at all. I was scared that after three bubs finding breastfeeding easy, these top ups, the fact he was syringe fed would effect my Breast feeding journey.  I continued to try and feed, I continued to hook myself up to the pump to try and get some colostrum, when that failed I sat there hand expressing, just hoping to get as much as I could to stop him needing formula. I sat there worrying once again if my bodies inability to 'do what it was supposed to do' would have a lasting impact on my new baby boy.

Looking back I realise how silly I was, really he was just so full after all that milk that there was no room to feed. It wasn't that he didn't want it, it was that he couldn't fit it in. I now realise that the formula, the top ups were for his own good and after the first 24 hours he took to feeding no problem, he was still being fed, he was still getting a little bit of colostrum along with the formula. But at the time it was so hard, such a different experience

That coupled with the blood sugar level tests, every 2-3 hours they would come in they would give you the look, the sorry i am about to make your peaceful baby cry look. It was heartbreaking to see. 

I was lucky a good friend of mine gave me some advice before my boy was born, she said invest in some jumpsuits with no feet, and buy baby socks, that way you don't have to undress them everytime they need to test. It will make it so much easier on both of you.

She told me that even if he does need to be in the SCN don't worry it's such a short amount of time in the long run, and the Doctors, the midwives want bub in with you as quickly as possible.

Most importantly she told me it was not my fault, and my baby would be ok.

You Must be Busy

If my eight month old could talk, and people asked him my name I think he would reply, 'You must be busy' 

I don't know how many times a day people look at me walking with the four kids in tow and reply, 'you must be busy'

I answer with a polite smile, and internally I think, yes I am and I wouldn't have it any other way :-)

My last two beautiful munchkins are only 14 months apart and that definitely keeps me on my toes, combine that with 2 in school, and the last eight months have been a combination of sleep deprivation, school runs, 3 am feeds, and a never ending washing pile.

And because of how generous school children are with their coughs and colds our little two have it seems been sick every other week, and yes that will help with their immune system, but it doesn't help with the sleep deprivation and 2am ED visits.

But over the last eight months I have developed a few strategies to stay sane.  (Well I think it's working , some of my childless friends might disagree)

1. Have a Shower, - the world always feels brighter when you don't smell like yesterday's baby vomit.

I understand that is sometimes easier said than done. I get that... Sometimes the very thought of taking off your warm, baby smelling pjs is enough to send you back to the couch, but I put both the kids in high chairs and although sometimes the shower last 1 minute, It is always worth it. So what if while you are in there your 22 month old has found the chocolate. (Just makes it easier to justifying opening it at 9:30am anyway)

2. Buy some steam fresh microwave vegetables for your freezer.

Some nights are tricky, my beautiful youngest might decide to feed just as I am about to start cooking dinner and people may say pre-cook earlier in the day but sometimes that just isn't possible. 

But throw a couple of chicken and veggie pies in the oven, microwave some veggies and you have a nice tasting warm meal.  

Throw some rice in a slow cooker, add the veggies and some soya sauce you have a basic fried rice. 

O'k it will never win master chef but at least your family will be eating food with some nutritional content.

3- Get out of the house

I know everyone says it and sometimes it's hard to do, the dishes aren't done, the house is a mess, but sometimes you just need to throw the kids in the car and get out of the house. You don't even need to get out of the car. If my kids aren't wanting to sleep and are getting stir crazy I pop them in the car drive down to our local maccas and buy a $1 fries, I am sure the kid behind the counter thinks, really is that all. But it gets me out of the house without breaking the bank.

I then drive to our local lake, park the car and sit and check up on my email, facebook etc

4. Learn to embrace your new life.

Until you have a child you do not realise how much your life will change. People say it all the time, and you smile and then all of a sudden it happens, all of a sudden your life is different.

All of a sudden it takes you longer to get into the car, just to go to the shops. Your once clear lounge room has more jumpers, mats, rockers than available floor space .

All of a sudden a sleep in is 7am, a date night is hiring a movie at home, and your conversations revolves around random smells, noises and what developmental milestone your bub is up to.

Dinner gets earlier, your clothes get more practical, and your time (and body) is not your own.

Relax, embrace it. 

This new life will continue to change as your children and your family does.

5. Find out you are not alone.

One of the best things happened to me after I got pregnant with my third child. My oldest was at school and my second heading into 4 yr old kinder, we were living away from family and I had yet to make any real friends in a new town.

On one visit down to my sister (who was also pregnant) she told me about the support she had received from her online mums group and in a moment of weakness I thought why not I will join one.

I figured if I didn't like it, I could always just walk away, I figured that I was safe behind the anonymity of a computer screen, I figured I could post as little or as  much as I wanted. I set my privacy settings high and waded in slowly.

What I didn't figure on was the amazing group of ladies that I would meet online. Ladies that showed me that I was not alone, ladies that answered my questions no matter how silly and trivial they seemed. 

I have been very blessed with four beautiful healthy children however my pregnancies are never easy. I have been induced for all 4, and suffered with various things through the pregnancies with HG, (severe morning sickness) GD, (Gestational Diabetes) high Blood pressure, PE, (Pre eclampsia) burst blood vessels in my stomach and even Shingles. 

Sometimes it's hard when you are pregnant as you want to complain, you want to cry out that it's hard but you don't want to seem like you aren't grateful for this amazing baby growing inside. You understand there are people around you maybe even friends and family that would give everything to experience pregnancy, you understand that but it doesn't make a difficult pregnancy any easier, it doesn't make your fears any less real.  

The amazing thing with my online mums group is that they have helped me through the pregnancies with no judgement, no pity, just sympathy and care. 

If online is not for you, contact your MCHN and join a mums group, join MOPS, (mother of pre schoolers) join a mum and bubs swimming class, the library. Anywhere you can see you are not alone.

6. Embrace your identity.

From the minute your new bub is born, something changes. All of a sudden you become your little beans mum or dad. 

Nothing proves this as much as peppa pig. Does anyone know what Mummy Pig and Daddy's pig name is. 

Think back to your childhood how many of your friends parents names did you know, and how many do you still remember as Kelly's mum? 

This doesn't change who you are, it doesn't make you any less important. Instead you become the most important person to that child in your life.

This identity will live with you until if you are very lucky, your new one begins; Nana.